Mood: Dazed and Confused
So a month ago I meet a guy. I was not looking to hook up, rather is was another night out partying with the best friend, Goldie. We are geared up in our usual club garb, people watching from the bar.. me with my Long Island Iced Tea and Goldie with her Guiness.
We are chillin out, talking about our week and relaxing when ths cutie pie walks up to the bar to get a drink. He orders, looks at me, we exchange hello's, and he walks away. Little did I know this guy was the DJ for the night, meaning he is there to work, not participate in the meat market frenzy. A little while later we are getting ready to head out and he comes back. By this time I have downed my liqued courage and make eye contact, flirt with him, being so bold to ask for his phone number. This is something I NEVER do. But this guy was different.
Next day he calls, by Sunday we meet for coffee. The weeks folowing we spent many evenings sharing stories at Starbucks and just hanging out getting to know one another. Things go great.... that is, until one night two weeks ago.
Fresh home from the local watering hole, I get a phone call at 12:30 am asking if I am still up. I am, and he tell me he is outside my house. He just finished up a DJ gig that night. Although in a sober frame of mind I would have told him he was crazy for showing up unannounced, but being buzzed I didn't mind and told him to come in. One thing lead to another and ba-da-bing, we make love. Next day, things are cool. The days to follow, NOT so cool. He becomes distant, quiet and non-communicative.
Finally tonight we talked things out. He says he likes me alot, but has had bad luck with the last three relationships ending because the females did not want to share him with his sons, with whom he has full custody. He says he doesn't want a commitment until they are grown, which is another three years. But he loves spending time with me and knows himself well enough to realize he would want to have a relationship with me despite all his fears, but is just not sure he can get serious with any woman at this point of his life.
Being a single parent, I respect this. I have two of my own that I am fiercly protective over and would not even consider a live-in situation for another five years until mine are grown. So my quandry is this..... do I continue dating him with no commitment, allowing my heart to get involved, knowing he wants no commitment, or so I step aside, protect my already damaged-but-healed-heart and miss him terribly?
I care about him a lot. I don't mind that he is a financially strapped single father, nor that he has very little money to entertain me. In this economy, everyone is budgeting, myself included. This man is college educated, a dedicated father, fully capable of relationships (in the past), genuine, honest, humorous, handsome, and makes me feel beautiful when we are together. In a nutshell, he is someone a girl could take home to meet her mom.
What is a girl to do?
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