Mixed Emotions

Love blooms fresh and new, budding with all the hope and excitement of promising adventures, never knowing what lies waiting around the bend. The possibilities are endless, dreaming of homes, children, lifestyle and a love continuing to grow well into the golden years. Even those retired years are marveled about, perhaps traveling or spending time with the grandkids. The garden is full of roses and even the rainy days bring rainbows. They are appreciated as an extra snuggle day, an excuse to pop a bowl, put on your flannel jammies and curl up in front of a movie with your betroved.

It is a sad state of circumstances when two people so seemingly destined for one another fall apart. The home, children and lifestyle may still exist, but the roses have thorns and the rainy days just piss you off because your car gets dirty. Bad moods are common and spouses become punching bags when emotions run amok. The very thought of being with your once-priceless love annoys you, whether or not it is conscience. Suddenly things that once were a minor irritation are unable to be overlooked. There is no shortage of blame to be found. Each party finds themselves seeking outside distractions merely to avoid the homestead. When thinking about that rainbow, it is only to figure out how much of that pot o’ gold belongs to you.

What does a couple do when they reach this diagnosis, especially when neither feels they are in the wrong, nor will take ownership of their mistakes? Both are stubborn as a constipated mule, neither willing to extend the proverbial olive branch to cross the barrier of communication.

Too many calendar months are flipped, putting off the inevitable. Someone wise once told me “We cant live for tomorrow, so make the best of today. Tomorrow is never promised.” These words ring true here. If only a peace offering is found, a middle ground located, a compromise reached, perhaps a couple can work through the issues before surrendering to the dreaded “D” word. The vows quoted for better or for worse need to be reminded here. This qualifies as “worse” and extra effort needs to be put forth.

All these thoughts from a twice divorced person. Pot meet kettle. I pray for a better outcome with these two individuals, to truly have the happily ever after, even if it includes changing one another’s diapers. Now where did I put that white flag..............