5:00 alarm/snooze 5:10 snooze
5:15 snooze
5:20 snooze
5:25 snooze
5:30 dragged out of bed
5:35 emptied the bladder, both mom and dog, started pot of coffee
5:45 shower
6:00 moisturized, filled cup #1 and looked at closet with zero interest. Looked at bed with 100% interest.... but I digress.... an hour later....
7:00 in car with laptop, scanner, toolbox, and cup #2
7:13 traffic jam, yet again. When will Ford Festiva's realize they are no match for an 18 wheeler?
7:45 arrive at first audit. Coffee has spilled. Cloths smell like Columbia's finest, I am still thinking about that warm bed at home....
8:00 first audit begins. NOT! Laptop decides it wants to chill out. Thank Goodness it wasn't due to my coffee fiasco.
8:10 call to IT dept for telefix. It works, back in business. On to auditing. 40 charts later..
11:30 lunchbreak. go to car only to realize the smell of coffee has permeated every nook and cranny, AND my lunch is still at home sitting on the kitchen counter. I am broke. Change is scraped for a 99 cent corndog at The Schnitz. Headed to next office, realize gas is required.
11:45 arrive at the gas station, only to find all pumps are locked, the station was just robbed. Police arrive, ask me for a statement, of which I have none. I'm let go but running on fumes. No time to make another gas attempt so I forge on with God as my co-pilot.
12:15 arrive at second office, only to find it locked. Our appointment was confirmed less than 24 hours ago. Corporate office notified, I am told to wait. I catch up on Dr. Laura.
1:15 Doors open, Snarky McSnarkson tells me they have been there the whole time and I must have not knocked on the door. (I most certainly did, I have red knuckles to prove it!) Begrudgingly she allows me in.
1:3o second audit begins.
4:00 All goes well, I finish early and attempt to hightail it home before traffic becomes my next obstacle. This was apparently the day for drivers of tin cans to roll as though they acquired their drivers license at Disneyland.
4:09 Another collision. Lookie Loo's ruberneck while I send prayers to God to just get me home before I am completly drained of fuel. I tell myself as soon as I exit I'll fill up. Get caught up in talk radio discussion. What gas? Maybe I need to buy some of those vitamins everyone raves about because that is supposed to help memory. But I can't remember the name of them.
4:45 arrive home to two teenagers who apparently do not know how to make a freekin sandwich because they "are starving". In a house full of snacks, groceries, fruit... but there's "nothing to eat" in their eyes.
5:05 dinner ready. Chicken Alfredo, salad and garlic bread. Kids make plates, I am too tired to lift a fork.
5:10 grab the laptop, head upstarirs to upload audit information. Great, internet connection is down. TV is flipped on. Fantastic, so is the cable. Let's try water, maybe that works.
5:15 shower.
5:45 moisturize, slide into comfy jammies, internet working, so charts are uploaded.
7:00 finally time for Judy Judy and a glass of wine. Son comes in room. Needs appointments set, others rescheduled, and of course, money for something "detrimental to his weekend". What a freekin croc 'o caca.
7:28 daughter comes in room. Wants to play a board game. I want to read and pour that wine as I missed Judge Judy due to arguing with a 17 year old hormonal boy who is stressed about his drivers test, but the board game over rules.
8:30 after 3 rounds of Battleship I can't take anymore. Emails are checked, Ipod updated, bills paid online and a few texts exchanged. I remember I never got that gas. Carrajo! Cloths are thrown on, I bizounce to get some petrol. The kids decide they want to come with me and go to Baskin Robbins because its 99 cent cone night. I'm out anyway, so what the heck. We all get ice cream.
9:00 back home. dog mad that we left him, so he has crapped on the floor I just mopped 2 days ago. Dog is beat down, put in kennel, pooped cleaned up. Ice ream has melted. I throw it out.
9:18 pour a tall glass of Pinot G, go to my room, imbibe the glass down in one shot and crawl into my bed. Since my entire sustenance consumption for the day was coffee, corndog, bottled water and a lollipop, the wine goes straight to the point.
In a few hours will all start over.
I am really livin' the good life ya'll so please don't hate on me. =)
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