Today began as the continuation of a rather disheartening series of events which occured last night. Without rehashing all the gory details, I will give you the condensed version. I ran into an ex-boyfriend and a boatload of hurt and heartache (that I thought I was done with) reoccurred. It has been quite some time since I last saw this individual and... well... needless to say, words were exchanged, tears were shed, and a full on meltdown of emotions was had. This morning I woke up after a terrible night's sleep with a painfully raw inner cheek from grinding my teeth all night (a unconscious habit I have when I am stressed or upset), a migraine headache and nausea in my stomach. I went to work feeling very out-of-sorts, distracted, and exhausted. To make matters worse, our department was in total chaos after the holiday weekend and the boss was on a rampage of kicking ass and taking names.
At lunch I escaped to a temporary reprieve in my car and prayed to God to get me through this work day and help me find a way to move beyond last night's mishap. I went back inside in 30 minutes and started the second half of a seemingly never-ending shift. (You are familar... the kind of day that you look at the clock, thinking it has been hours but it has only been 30 minutes.) To find a bit of tasty distraction, I ventured to the cafeteria to "splurge" on a vending machine coffee. It was here that I had an insightful encounter that changed my whole perspective.
There was a lab tech in the dining area picking at some food and looking quite pale. She wore a hat which I have never seen before on her. Coffee conversation ensued and she confided in me that she was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and has just begun chemotherapy. She is only on her 2nd of 8 rounds and already experiencing side effects. Her hair is falling out, she has no appetite, and is facing major surgery. Yet throughout all of her health problems she comes to work with a smile on her face and tells me she is just happy to be alive and to have a steady career which provides her with medical care. Suddenly I felt so ashamed of my my self-pity, party of one. I told her that she truely insprired me. We shared a hug and she told me to stay strong, that I would get through my hurt. Imagine that.
This served as a reminder to not take things for granted. One must look beyond their own selfish existance and be grateful for all the wonderful blessings we have. Although I am entitled to feel emotional after my incident yesterday, I must also keep things in better perspective. A sound lesson to be reminded of so early in 2012. God sent me the answer to my lunch time prayers, indeed.
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