Mental Vacancy

Today dawned with an attack of the mind as I had never experienced before. I have heard on numerous occasions the topic of panic attacks and never quite understood what they were… until today’s crepuscular when I was rudely awakened by my own said attack of the psyche. An indescribable nightmare sandbagged my sleep, leaving my mental density numb and about as clear as the Tijuana River Valley after a torrential monsoon. My hands shook, forehead was clammy and stomach was in knots. My heart raced and literally felt as though it was jumping out of my chest. I could barely breathe. The sliding door was thrown open in attempt to get air where I stumbled on to the balcony and promptly tossed my cookies.

A long hot shower ensued, followed by a steaming cup of cammie tea and a random classic black and white filmed in 1942. Although my mind set slowly returned to normal, the feeling of sharks in my bathtub remained. Around 7 I finally dozed off on the sofa. The rest of the day proved to be a challenge in the mind over matter category. I am happy to relay that mind won the battle and I feel pretty normal again after an afternoon tea party complete with cucumber sandwiches.

This highly undesired event had the proverbial silver lining. I was reminded how I am surrounded by love and support. Those who have endured this malarkey offered sound advice and extended offers of a phone call regardless of the hour the clocked ticked. This was not lip service either my friends, rather a heartfelt concern for my emotional well being. Love surrounds me like a hand in glove and despite the troubling twilight I continue to pray for strength in mind, body and spirit.