Fellowship

After a rather busy Monday the last thing I wanted to do was sit in a crowded, hot room with flies buzzing over my head and the stench of old coffee for an hour. I would have much rather headed home and flipped open my laptop, racking up a few more hours of overtime. Begrudgingly I went inside, not with an overwhelming sense of apprehension; I was simply more inclined be somewhere more productive. This evening I attended my first AA meeting in over 5 years. I was not dreading it because of the message itself they advocate. For some people the teachings are the difference in life or death, sobriety and active addiction and I appreciate that. However, I felt annoyed at the powers that be which have mandated my attendance for the next 18 months. I readily admit it does not hurt to attend; it just seems that people should go that want to be there. If one is only taking up a seat to fulfill a court requirement, does that not take away from those who sincerely find their support with attending? What I experienced was a very diverse group of individuals from all walks of life. Retirees, twenty-something’s, pregnant women, bikers, single parents, healthy and sick, of all races, ages, religions and sexual orientations. It was quite a lot to take in, but in a reassuring way. Some were in attendance as a regular part of maintaining sobriety, others steadfastly holding on to denial. Some were there, such as yours truly, to placate the state. Still others, who appear well on their way to addiction; yet seeking a means of resistance. I did not participate today. There was no speaking up, introducing myself and saying to the room that I am an alcoholic. I was raised with a philosophy that God gave us one mouth and two ears for a reason; to listen more and speak less. I did not feel like I was better or less than any one of the participants in the room, felt like I was one of them, even if as a silent partner. Here are two tales I found touching. A middle aged guy named Ross told a story about his children. When they were young the parental relationship was estranged due to his drinking. Struggling to remain in their lives, he would attend their T-ball games with his cooler of Budlight. One day he heard one of the teammates ask his son who he was. His son answered “that’s just Ross.” He was crushed. It was that moment he had the realization of just how far the consequences of his alcoholism had reached. He vowed to find sobriety. After a few relapses he now has 29 months sober. He said, although it was challenging, hearing his son refer to him as Dad again makes every day worth the fight. Another gentleman, who goes by the name of Bo, speaks of his encounter with irony. Bo was a heavy drinker for over 40 years. Due to his depressive alcoholic state, he felt worthless and had no desire to live, attempting suicide three times. He has now found sobriety only to be diagnosed with a life threatening heart condition. Next week he will undergo a quadruple heart bypass. His cardiologist tells him his life will never be the same; in fact, there are severe complications that may arise. Bo finds himself oddly at peace with this prognosis. He feels that if “the big guy upstairs” calls him home, he will go as a sober man who has made amends with his family, his friends, and his God. Hearing these stories shared with such raw emotion and honesty put me in quite a reflective mood. No longer will I dread these meetings, I will look forward to them. There is something very humbling about fellowship with individuals who are so sincere and dedicated to sobriety.

Hiatus

Hello readers!!!

My humble apologies for such a long silent span. I appreciate the random emails asking if I am continuing writing and inquiring on my status.

I assure you, yours truly is doing just wonderful. I was blessed with a career opportunity in early June and have been on a hard grind ever since. Some things had to be put on a back burner for a while while I got my life back together. I have a few things I have been pondering and will post soon. For my new readers (Hello Ms. Tina) thank you for folowing all the way from Ireland!!! I can legitimately say my bog has reached the shores of another country!!!

So... stay tuned, WORLD!!

Comfy and Cozy

Today it rained in sunny California, putting my mind to winter activities. Hot cocoa, cozying up by a fireplace, wearing snugglie pajamas and quiet nights at the homestead. Finally I can wear my boots and scarves, sweaters and coats!

So, as I warm my hands around a mug of chocolatey goodness, pull the blanket up to my chin, and curl up in front of a movie, I also enjoy the sound of rain on the window which undoubtedly will lull me to sleep before the ending credits roll across the screen. Good night, Tuesday, good night.

Hiatus

Cheerio Mate

 

 

After an excruciatingly long work day on a mere two hours of sleep, I am finally back in the comforts of my own lair, enjoying the simple pleasures in life (so often under appreciated).

A long bubble bath to soak away the aches and pains was my first step. Once the soft robe and fluffy towel was wrapped around my wet head, I made a bowl of Cheerios with banana slices and sat on my deck watching a beautiful sunset. To top off my serenity, the sounds of a xylophone playing Caribbean music filled my ears thanks to the high school band practicing yonder down the road. My pooch is at my feet safeguarding me from the evil blue jays and fellow canines walking their owners on an evening stroll.

The master plan is to toss in a black and white classic film and bury myself in a mound of pillows....

Goodnight, world.

'Nuff Said

Premonitions of Paris

In the spirit of the trend of Throwback Thursday (personally I preferred "Thirsty Thursday" because it came with drink specials, but I digress...) here is a photo from June 2006. The kids and I were on the road traveling from Virginia to California, relocating back home. I remember stopping at this little town and telling them ""Hey guys!!! We made it to Paris!!!" and they actually thought we were in the big Paris. =)  Ahhh, the naivety of childhood. Who would have ever guessed my little girl would actually end up there in seven more years!

 

 

Le Nightcap D'jour

Today was a day filled with unexpected and hopeful surprises. One of which I am brimming over with excitement about, but until it is signed, sealed, and delivered I shall keep it hush-hush. *sigh*  I can hardly contain myself. If all goes well, this could be the turning point in my career that I have been praying for. It was another reminder that we must never lose faith that God has a master plan for us. Instead of fretting over things that didn't work out, know in your soul that there is a reason greater than you can imagine. You simply must have faith that eventually it will arrive.

It is with much relief that I wind down my evening with my standard comforts. I'm in my comfy bed, doggy at my feet quietly snoring (kicking his foot every so often at the birds he is chasing in his dreams) a stiff cocktail, aroma therapy lotion on the shoulders, Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen (pictured with one of my favorite fashionistas... SJP) and the candles lit... lights out! 

 

 

 

 

 

Grandma's Gatsby

 

 

Today I had the pleasure of a movie and lunch with my mother, daughter and step-father. The costuming was amazing and the reflection of the time period was spot-on. The only thing it left me wanting was to read the actual novel, as, sadly, I never have. After lunch we dined at good old Denny's sharing burgers and iced coffees (their new iced coffee beverages are delicious!) and conversation.

 

The last six months have been extremely stressful on my mother. After losing two brothers to illness within three weeks of one another; and handling not one, but both of their estate affairs, she has become very depressed. Adding insult to injury, she has developed very bad bones which leave her in excruciating pain; relying on a cane or walker to get around. She needs assistance getting in and out of chairs, cars, and even stairs. I know she feels as though she is a burden to us all although she would never admit it. This is my mother. The very woman who gave me life, nurtured me as a child, was patient during my rebellious years, and supportive of me raising two children as a single parent.

 

I surely hope she enjoyed our outing today despite the need of assistance. These are the times I cherish. It is the small little things we do as a family that I hold near and dear to my heart. Exchanging the latest news over meals, girl talk with coffee, and reminiscing of childhood stories are things I remember with the sincerest of affection. If I can tell my "mommy" anything, it would be that we love her with all our hearts and will always be here, good times and bad. And most importantly dear mother, you will never be a burden.

Addicted to Vintage

The next project has been a long time in anticipation, patiently waiting for either a donated changing table or a dirt cheap one to be posted online and find its way into my workshop. (A.K.A. garage.) It wasn't really the style or material I wanted to work with but there can always be a second one later. If nothing else, I had a practice run and now know what not to do.  This was made out of pressed wood so my paint didn't adhere very well. I had to be uber careful bringing it into my bedroom when completed because the smallest bump against a wall will tear the color right off. I don't know if my last project really blew my mind, dulling everything else in comparison or if this bar cart just was a let down. I have a few girlfriends who love it so maybe it will find a new home when I complete a new one. In the meantime, I finally have a pretty place to display the cherished vintage bar ware I recently inherited. =)

 

Plain Jayne before

(please excuse the mess of a garage)

 

Finished in Heirloom White

 

Bar Glasses and Serving Snifters c. 1950's

Glass and Brass perfume/cosmetic tray c. 1970's

A few of my favorite wines..

Especially the one from my Raymond "family" vineyard.

(no real relation, but excellent vino for you oenophiles)

'98 Throwback Thursday

This picture always conjures up a few tears for me. Summer of 1998, my daughter was 20 months and my son was 5. It was a very hot day  and we were at their grandmothers house. Ahhhh memories of childhood, running through the sprinklers to stay cool, Otter Pops and grilled ham and cheese. What touches my heart even more is the fact that they are still best friends at 16 and 21. I am one very blessed mother.

Something Old, Something Blue

Several months ago I adopted a desk that needed a new home. It took up residence in my garage until I had the time and creative juices flowing to take on a new project. The beauty of these projects is the peace of mind during the process and the feeling of accomplishment upon its completion. There is something very gratifying about using your hands and mind to renew a piece that is terminally abhorrent into a beautiful chattel. Perhaps I connect with this feeling because my life is undergoing the same process. Hopefully soon I will be financially back on track and feel more positive about my future. Here are the photos:



 

 

 

 The ugly duckling

Deep scratches and dings

paint... $0    roller... $0  tray... 99 cents  

after sanding and three coats of paint, blemishes no longer seen

stencil kits..... $6.99  foam paint brush.... $0

I decided to give a pop of blue to the front..

I am on the fence about painting drawer fronts matching blue

Taaa-Daaaaah the final product set up in my room!!!

All my special accessories and the matching wicker highboy next to it.

 

TOTAL COST: $8.00

Feliz Dia de las Madres

I am blessed to have numerous amazing mothers in my life. Starting with my own of course! So many aunts, friends, cousins, a sister, and many loved ladies who have since passed on. You were here in spirit today with us during our celebrations! To my own mother, you have done so much for your "grands" and I! Through great times and tough periods, it was a reassurance to know that we would ALWAYS have you in our corner. And to my step-mother, we have not always seen eye to eye, but I am happy we are friends now. To the other mothers in my inner circle, you all amaze me with your patience, guidance, understanding and never-ending supply of hugs, kisses and encouraging words. I wish ALL of you fabulous females a Mother's Day as wonderful as you are!

Born to Mac

Cross one off my bucket list.... I'm finally fulfilling a lifelong dream of seeing my favorite all-time band live in concert... Fleetwood Mac. The history, music, harmonies, songwriting..... to me there is no one better.  So, in honor of my favorite song "Dreams" written by the phenomenal Stevie Nicks, today's post is the lyrics. This woman has always been ahead of her time. "Dreams" is just one example of her singing talent and creativity. 55 days and counting...

Now here you go again

You say you want your freedom

Well who am I to keep you down

It's only right that you should

Play the way you feel it

But listen carefully to the sound

Of your loneliness

Like a heartbeat, drives you mad

In the stillness of remembering

What you had, And what you lost

And what you had, And what you lost

Chorus:

Thunder only happens when it's raining

Players only love you when they're playing

They say, women, they will come and they will go

When the rain washes you clean, you'll know

You'll know

Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions

I keep my visions to myself

It's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams and

Have you any dreams you'd like to sell

Dreams of Loneliness like a heartbeat, drives you mad

In the stillness of remembering

What you had, And what you lost

And what you had, oh what you lost

Thunder only happens when it's raining

Players only love you when they're playing

Women, they will come and they will go

When the rain washes you clean, you'll know

Dainty Display

Last weekend I was in dire need of some solo retail therapy... and one of my favorite past times is scavenging the local flea market for deals and treasures. I found a plastic mirror frame (missing the glass) with the look of wicker, but with more sturdiness. I had an idea how to re-purpose it, and for one measly dollar, I could afford the gamble if it didn't turn out right. I am pleased to announce, it turned out cute!

 

scrubbed clean and given a fresh coat of ivory color

 

used a hot glue gun and leftover burlap to cover the inside section

 

added lace lining. The top row dried crooked, but gives it character, right?

reassembled both pieces securing with screws

the end result... a dainty earring display!